Neighbors
by milissas
Summary: Neighbors that share a past are brought together.
1. A Spur of The Moment Idea

She needed something to do with her spare time. The walls of her apartment seemed to close further in on her every night of the week and there was only so much jogging around her neighborhood that she could take. She sighed inwardly as she glanced down at the ring on her finger, it had been over three years since her fiancé died yet she couldn't muster the strength to take the ring off and put it away. It was her safety blanket, since for the most part the platinum and diamond creation kept most men from approaching her and those that ignored it found themselves on the receiving end of a very cold shoulder.

The sound of sirens interrupted her thoughts and she moved to the window, pushing the thin gauze curtain out of the way just in time to see the fire trucks pull out of the station house down the block and head off into the night. She knew that house lost several members on the same day that she had lost her fiancé, she remembered jogging past the makeshift memorial just a few days after moving in, later that week she had added her own flowers to it as well and prayed for the men that were lost doing their job.

Moving back from the window she headed back into the kitchen with a determined gait, she had an idea that might just be the answer to her earlier question. Forty-five minutes later she exited her apartment dressed to go jogging but held two large foiled covered Pyrex pans in her arms. It didn't take long before she found herself in front of the still empty firehouse.

_"This is has got to be the most insane idea you've ever had."_

Glancing up and down the empty street, she stepped into the brick building her eyes going to the back wall immediately searching for the door that would hopefully lead her to their kitchen. She knew her window of time could be closing so she crossed the empty floor space quickly and pushed opened the only door to be found which lead her to a hallway, she went right and found their kitchen. She put the pans on their table and quickly pulled the note out of her pocket that she had written. She adjusted the fold so that it was sitting perfectly on top of one of her foil-covered creations. The note was short and simple, providing only the heating instructions for the food, a request to leave the pans on the counter and that they would be picked up later in the week and absolutely no mention of her identity.

She left the way she came but paused momentarily to glance at the names gracing the rows of lockers. Gavin, Rivera, Shea, Garrity, and Probie, she committed them to her memory before sprinting out the door to start her evening run. She reached the far corner of the block just as the trucks came barreling down the side street heading back to the stationhouse.


	2. The Food Fairy

_Authors Notes: Thank you for reading and reviewing. Good reviews are inspiring and if you have contructive comments please share them. I try to use the feedback I receive to improve the quality of my writing. -- Milissa_

Chapter 2

"Did you see that one?" Garrity asked as the trucks passed the lone woman on the corner.

"See who?" Was Gavin's only reply.

"That girl, the jogger." Garrity replied trying to look back out the window, completely missing Gavin's negative head shaking.

"I've seen her, she's always out running." Franco provided as the truck came to a halt inside the house.

"You think she lives around here?"

Garrity's last question went unanswered as the crew exited the truck and went about their business. It was the Probie that wandered back into the kitchen first; he saw the trays and the note sitting on top of one of them. Taking it he headed back to the main area and the rest of the crew.

"Hey guys check this shit out."

"What is it? A letter from Santa Clause?" Was Gavin's sarcastic reply.

"Even Better. A letter from the food fairy."

The rest of the crew fell silent as Franco took the note and opened it, reading it aloud.

_Saw you guys go out a while ago, figured you'd be hungry when you got back. Everything is cooked so you just need to put it in the oven to warm it up. Leave the pans in the kitchen and they'll be picked up later in the week._

Franco shrugged and turned the letter over looking for any other writing.

"They didn't leave a name?" Garrity asked.

"Nothing at all" came the reply just as the chief walked in carrying a plate of food.

"Who ordered the food?" he asked to no one in particular.

Tommy stepped forward and took the note from Franco and waved it in the air.

"No one, Probie here thinks it was the food fairy who left us this note."

"Food Fairy you have to be fucking kidding me, who's the note from Tommy?"

Garrity shook his head, "No name on the note, but I'm starved."

Tommy handed the note to the chief as he and the rest of his crew followed Garrity to the kitchen.

Chapter 2 Part 2

She ran for fourteen blocks before she decided to turn around and head home. She could have gone for another ten but she wanted to get back and see if the firemen had returned. Now that she had been thinking about what she did she worried that it had been a bad idea. What if they didn't eat it, or thought the food was lousy? The thoughts kept her mind occupied and before she knew it, she was back up on her block. The first thing she noticed was that the doors were down at the firehouse signifying the trucks had returned finally from their call. With her eyes still on the red doors, she went to cross the street, not seeing the pickup truck rolling toward her until the driver leaned on the horn effectively snapping her back to reality.

"SHIT"

She jumped backward, her heels colliding with the curb and she fell flat on her ass to the cement. She didn't stand right away, just sat there blinking and hoping no one other than the person who almost hit her saw her ungraceful landing.

"HEY are you alright?"

She looked up and nodded, but it must not have been convincing enough since after a few choice swear words the guy was stepping out of his truck. As soon as she saw the uniform she looked down, her embarrassment and nervousness growing.

"I'm fine really I am..I'm fine. You can go, you didn't hit me..I just hit the ground hard."

He crouched in front of her, a hand going beneath her chin and raising her head gently.

"I can't just leave you sitting on the curb, you can go inside if you need to just tell 'em Tommy said it was alright."

"It's okay, I only have to go down to the corner. I'm sure I'll make it alright."

She watched as he looked at her then followed his gaze until it fell on her ring. She smiled slightly when his head snapped back up.

"I can call your fiancé have him walk down to meet you."

_"That'd be a long walk"_ she thought as she shook her head trying to ignore the telltale tightening of her throat.

"He's..he's not here but thanks."

She hoped that her voice sounded normal and that he would just go and leave her be.

"Alright then."

He stood and offered her his hand; she took it and allowed herself to be pulled back to her feet. With a small smile and a nod of thanks, she ignored the throbbing in her ass and jogged off down the block toward her building.


	3. Caught Red Handed

_Thank you Jenny, FinalFaith & FlyingPurplePig for your reviews & feedback - Milissa_

Chapter 3

For the next two weeks, she'd cook for the men and deliver the trays of food while they were out on a call. Each time leaving a little note with the reheating or cooking instructions and so far they had yet to figure out where the food was coming from. She slowly began to match their names to their faces and soon she knew them all even though she hadn't spoken to any of them personally aside from that night with Tommy. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone caught her in the act of dropping off food or picking up her pans. Tonight the food was prepped but she worried that she would miss the opportunity to drop it off since she had a dance workshop to attend. She briefly debated going there on her way out, dropping off the food and revealing her identity but decided against it out of fear that they'd expect she wanted something in return or ask why she was doing this for them. Both scenarios would be appropriate and she knew she didn't want anything in return from any of them so that would be easy but if they asked why she wasn't so sure she could just tell her story.

She didn't know how she'd be able to tell them that in some way by cooking for them it was her way of saying thank you for all they did that day, to say thank you for going into that building, that smoke filled confusion rampant nightmare to try to save every day people like her fiancé. She didn't think she could tell them that what had remained of her fiancé's body was found next to one of their own, one who had tried to save him only to be caught in the terrifying collapse. She just wasn't ready to face her own memories of that day and didn't want to be the one to bring back that day for them.

Sirens interrupted her and with a small sigh she realized she had been crying over all the things she couldn't say to them. She checked the wrapping on the trays as the trucks barreled down the street, picking up her dance bag she slid it up onto her shoulder before saying a short prayer to keep them safe while she hefted up the trays and left her apartment.

---------

Stilleti sat waiting in the small den since he was currently off duty and living at the firehouse he had the dubious honor of waiting to see if the food fairy would show up and how long it would take her after the trucks pulled out. The clock on the wall just registered five minutes when he heard the door open and then footsteps heading his way. Hopping up he pressed himself against the inside of the door so she wouldn't see him when she passed heading toward the kitchen. He stood that way for what seemed like hours before he heard the sound of something being placed on the table before he ventured out to the hallway musing up his hair as he went. The plan was for him to look like he had just woken up so it wouldn't look like they had planned on catching the food fairy. He turned into the kitchen and stopped in the doorway, a shit eating smile spreading to his face instead of the yawn he was supposed to be faking. There bending over the table writing was Garrity's lady jogger. He cocked his head and let his eyes roam her figure, she was wearing a pair of tights, a short black skirt that barely covered what looked to be a leotard clad upper body.

"The only thing that can spoil this surprise is if you are the woman assigned to this station."

He watched amused as she spun around to face him, her face a look of complete shock. Obviously she had expected that the house was going to be empty like it had been all the previous times she had been there.

"I..no..I'm not assigned anywhere." She spoke softly and kept her eyes adverted as she put the pen and notepad back into her backpack.

"So you've been our food fairy this entire time?" He asked from his spot in the doorway and was pleased when she met his eyes with a bashful smile.

"You've been calling me the food fairy? That's cute and yes it's been me who has been bringing the food over."

He nods and wonders what he is supposed to do next; they hadn't planned that far in advance with the 'uncover the food fairy' plot. He moves away from the door and goes toward the table.

"Yeah, it was my idea cause I found the food that night first. I appreciate it, well we all appreciate what you've been doing although we don't know why someone would do that for us."

He smiles at her and is granted on in return before she looks at her watch and then nervously at the door.

"I have my reasons which I'd love to share but I don't think it's a good idea and I really need to get going or I'm going to be late."

"Will you come back?" The words came out before he had a chance to stop them and she looked as surprised as he felt so he played it off with a slight shrug.

"You know after you are done with whatever it is I'm making you late to."

He watched as she thought about and he could have sworn he could hear her pulse pounding before she gave him a shaky nod.

"Sure, I can stop by on my way back."


	4. Prelude to the meeting

_Thank you everyone for your kind reviews and urging for another chapter. I waited until the season was over so that way I could shape my story around it and I'm also doing NaNoWriMo this year for the first time. _

_--------_

"Chin up, focus on your partner he is supposed to be an extension of you and your body but right now you are treating him like he's got the plague."

She blinked and looked down at her partner who was smirking slightly feeling nothing except revulsion toward him. However it would be very bad form if she complained about him in front of everyone so she pressed on just waiting for her class to be over. Normally after a class like this she'd shower, grab a salad for dinner with a few of the girls and then walk home. Tonight she had told them that she couldn't do dinner and the questions started almost immediately. They wanted to know if she had a date and if she did who the guy was and how did she meet him. She knew they meant well but their question only succeeded in making her more nervous about stopping by the firehouse on her way home.

-------

"So? Did the food fairy come?"

"Yes, the food fairy definitely came."

"She? You didn't fuck her in the house did you?"

"No..no way of course not she was running late."

The questions started as soon as the trucks pulled in coming rapid fire as gear was removed and stored away. Every time he opened his mouth to answer another question was thrown out.

"So what's her name? What did she look like? What was she wearing? What did she bring us to eat? "

"If you would all shut up I'd be able to tell you what happened."

Finally they quieted and looked at him expectantly.

"It's the jogger, you know the one we see running all the time."

"No shit, she's a nice piece of ass," commented Franco

"I saw her first Franco, you always get the chicks."

"She's engaged, I almost hit her the other night with my truck. Got out to see if she was alright and she's got a rock on her finger."

"Fuck why are the ones I always find taken?"

"You give up to easy, it doesn't mean anything if she's got a ring. How do we know it's real? There are women out there who pretend to be engaged so men don't hit on them, it's their way of weeding out the pussies."

----------

She stood in front of the firehouse staring at the memorial trying to get up the nerve to step through the door.

"They were good guys."

The voice startled her and she nearly jumped out of her skin, before placing a hand on her chest over her pounding heart.

"Do you always make it a point to scare the shit out of visitors to your house?"

He shrugged and offered her his hand.

"I do what I can. I'm Tommy by the way, never really introduced myself after I tried to mow you down the other night."

She accepted his hand and raised her eyebrows as he noticeable checked out her ass.

"Looks good, no lasting damage. Guess my insurance rates are safe."

"What?"

"Your ass, you fell on it remember? Don't you dancers insure your asses these days?"

That comment caused her nervousness and anticipation about meeting the men fade and she laughed before shaking her head.

"I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but ordinary dancers can't afford to carry insurance on our asses, some though do have insurance on their feet."

"Do you?"

"Oh no I'm not that good to have to worry about that."

She smiled and glanced toward the door then back at Tommy.

"Is everyone inside waiting?"

He nodded and stepped to the door, pushing it open and then making a sweeping gesture.

"Ladies and food fairies first."

He followed her through and closed the door behind them before leading her to the back of the firehouse. He stepped into the kitchen first and all heads turned his way, as she stepped in slowly behind him.


	5. The Meeting

Chapter 5

Every muscle in her body was tense as they looked at her, this was worse than being on stage in front of a few thousand nameless faces. She took a deep breath and stepped out from behind Tommy so that she was now standing at his side.

"Hi"

She glanced at each one of their faces and could feel herself getting choked up. She wasn't sure how she was going to get through if just the mere sight of them was tripping her emotions.

"I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Renata and I live across the street in the building on the corner. I've been the one who has been dropping the food off while you've been out."

They were quiet for roughly a moment before the questions started coming, one on top of another and she wasn't quite sure where to start and who's question to answer first.

"HEY guys GUYS would you give her a minute."

Her eyes went to the older man in the white shirt leaning against the counter.

"You know it might be nice if we introduced ourselves as well."

He shook his head before looking up at her.

"I'm Chief Reilly and it's a pleasure to meet you and thank you for the food."

The others followed suit introducing themselves and thanking her for the food she smiled at each one of them feeling more at ease at the situation until she felt a hand settle on her lower back anda voice whisper in her ear.

"The Chief has been trying to teach them manners but as you can see it's a lost cause."

She chuckled slightly at his comment and looked up at the group again, knowing now how she would handle her explanation and get out of the house without her emotions showing.

"I suppose you are all wondering why I've been bringing you food."

They nodded and she watched each one of them as they focused on her, when her eyes found Franco she could feel just a bit of warmth penetrate a part of her that had been cold for so long.

I "Get a grip Renata, you are not a firefighter groupie and besides as far as they are concerned you are engaged." /I

"I wish I could give you one concrete reason why, but I can't and I'm sorry that I can't. I can tell you that what you do on a daily basis means a lot to me and I guess my cooking is just my way of saying thank you."

She looked at them and wondered if they would accept that, but a robotic voice echoing through the house announcing another call interrupted anything else they had to say. She moved instinctively away from the doorway, they nodded at her as they left with the exception of Franco who planted a kiss on her cheek on his way out the door.

"Franco wants to get in your pants."

Tommy walked in through the door and smirked at her.

"He can want to get in my pants as much as he'd like, it doesn't mean it's going to happen. Why are you still here?"

"Can't get rid of me that easy sweetheart. I've been off duty for an hour just stuck around to see if the food fairy really came back."

She nodded and then moved to gather up the pans that were stacked neatly by the sink.

"I should go, it was very nice meeting everyone."

Tommy followed her as she made her way through the now empty house.

"I'm going to walk you to your building. It's late and you shouldn't be out alone. Doesn't your fiancé worry about you when you go jogging at night? It isn't safe for a woman to be doing that sort of thing."

She shook her head and avoided Tommy's eyes, the last thing she wanted to do was get into a conversation about her fiancé with him.

"He knows I can take care of myself."

Tommy nodded and stayed silent on the short walk to her building's door, then he leaned up against the façade.

"You know Renata you can't bullshit a bullshitter."

She swallowed as she tried to balance the pans and dig out her keys.

"I don't know what you are talking about Tommy."

He took the keys from her and slid it into the lock opening the door and holding it open for her.

"What floor do you live on Renata?"


	6. The Truth is Told

Tommy followed her as she led the way to her apartment. Her silence only confirmed to him that what he already knew. Renata had a secret that she didn't want them to know about and he was going to find out what that was before the sun rose. She stopped in front of a numberless door once they reached the fifth floor and he used the only other key on the chain to open the door. He let it swing inward so she could enter first, following after her so he could lock up. Tommy noticed she didn't stop just maneuvered through the darkness. He took that moment to turn off his phone so that way there would be no interruptions as he got to the bottom of her story.

"Doesn't it bother your fiancé that you let strange men follow you home?"

He smirked when he heard her sigh but wiped it from his face when overhead lights were switched on. He blinked and looked around, he was in a loft and from the looks of it said loft ran the entire length of the building.

"You aren't a strange man. You're a firefighter."

He let that comment go as he began to explore looking for some clue that she did indeed share this massive space with her supposed fiancé.

"Must have cost a pretty penny to lease this place."

"You came over to discuss my finances?"

Tommy watched as she moved toward a leather sofa and it's companion coffee table but something was off he could see that she was trying to act natural so he glanced at the table looking for something unusual and then he saw the box protruding from the bottom of the couch. He didn't think twice before moving to it and reaching it just before she did, her fingers grazing his in her attempt to tuck it out of sight.

"Tommy..please."

"Please what sweetcheeks? I told you that you can't bullshit a bullshitter."

"It's nothing..just some embarrassing girl things from college that I was looking through last night."

Tommy looked at her and could plainly see that she was struggling to keep her emotions under wrap. Nodding silently he looked around until he spied the pictures on the mantle, tucking the box under his arm he moves over to them looking at each one. Most of them were of a younger Renata with flowers; backstage from the looks of them the last picture in the row stopped him dead. He picked up the small frame and turned to her.

"He was there wasn't he?"

He looked down at the frame, which held a single picture of a man in standing in the lobby of one of the towers, and tucked into the top of the frame was a Cantor-Fitzgerald business card.

"Are you happy now?"

Tommy looked up at her and then at the box, thinking for a moment that the small wood box was filled with ashes.

"I'm sorry..Renata. I never thought Fuck it makes so much sense now. I'm sorry."

He moved toward her and held out the box, he had never thought that she might have lost someone that day. Why did she want to keep it a secret? Tommy was sure there was more to it, but obviously he had ruined any chance of her speaking to him again.

"You don't have to apologize, I suppose I should be getting on with my life that's what I would always tell my patients. Part of the grieving process is eventually moving on but I just can't seem to listen to my own advice."

He was floored as she took the box and retreated to the sofa, sitting down and curling up in a corner. Not sure what to do or where to go he just stayed put, holding the picture frame. She opened the box and slowly took out what at one time had been a wallet and then a very burnt company id in a plastic holder.

"I just find it hard to do when this is all I've got left to move on with."

"I'm sorry Renata."

Tommy hated how redundant he sounded but what else could he say. He had followed her home, invaded her space and opened wounds that were obviously not healed.

"You don't have to be sorry Tommy. You didn't know and this is why I didn't say anything before when I introduced myself because I can't move on, I can't shake my ghosts of that day. His remains were found besides a firemen."

"Ghosts?"

Tommy moved to the couch and sat down still holding the framed photograph in an attempt not to seem too anxious to what she had to say about ghosts.

"Yeah you know, things that come back to haunt you about events in your past."

He nodded and reluctantly reached out, placing the photograph on her small coffee table.

"A lot of folks in this town have ghosts from that day Renata."

She sighed softly and looked down at her lap, a few seconds later Tommy heard a soft sob.

_"Oh fuck"_ He thought. He didn't do crying, he wasn't equipped to handle a crying woman and he was already planning on getting his ass out of there.

"It was my fault he was there, which means it was my fault that the firefighter died."

She had spoken so softly that Tommy had thought that he had imagined what he just heard. She blamed herself? She's been blaming herself all these years?

"Renata…" Tommy really didn't know what to say to the woman in front of him who was crying softly. Running his hands through his hair, he looked around the loft twice before moving closer to her. Tentatively he wrapped his arms around her and relaxed slightly when she didn't automatically push him away or slap him.

"Renata, they were both doing their jobs. It wasn't your fault that they were there."

She shifted slightly in his arms and shook her head.

"Tommy..I made him go in. He was off, we had just booked our honeymoon and I insisted that he go right to work and take that week off even though it was over six months away. If I hadn't done that, he'd still be alive and maybe the fireman would be as well."

Tommy knew he should say something to contradict her theory about at least her being to blame for the death of one of his comrades, but what could he say to help her see that if it hadn't been her fiancé it could have been someone else.

"Renata, I want you to listen to me. The department lost three hundred and forty three men that day, including the one found by your fiancé. It doesn't necessarily mean that the man found besides him was assisting him specifically. Your fiancé might have been coming down and he could have been going up or their final resting positions could have been caused when the tower fell. You can't blame yourself for his death."

The loft was silent after that except for the occasional sob or sniffle from Renata, which eventually faded away as the exhausted woman fell to sleep in the arms of her impromptu therapist.


	7. Brand New Day

Tommy woke up to the sound of classical music playing softly. Blinking he opened his eyes and looked around, taking in his unfamiliar surroundings before the events of the prior evening flooded back to him. Sitting up so he could have a better view, he noted that sometime during the night Renata had tried her best to make him comfortable by ridding him of his boots, his belt and sitting on the coffee table to his right were the contents of his pockets.

_"Well she's thorough."_

Standing up, Tommy stretched and started walking toward the music all while taking note of the rest of the apartment. He paused in the doorway as he came across the source of the sound and just watched. Renata seemingly converted two rooms into a large dance studio, the outer wall of which was entirely windows that looked out over downtown. Tommy swallowed as his eyes were drawn to the empty hole in the skyline where the towers once stood. He wondered if she had been dancing that morning, did she see the planes?

"The studio was supposed to be my wedding present but he had it finished early for me."

Renata's eyes followed his gaze and she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Today is the first day I've danced with the blinds up. I hadn't been able since that day."

Tommy's view was cut off as a pair of blinds slowly lowered themselves. Walking over to where she stood he noticed for the first time she was dressed in only a leotard and tights.

_"Garrity would probably bust a nut if he was standing in my shoes"_ he thought as he draped his arm over her shoulders.

Draping his arm over her shoulders, he took the remote from her hand and opened them again.

"You don't have to close them on my account. I sometimes go down there and just sit for hours. Jimmy, my cousin didn't make it out when they came down."

Renata looked up him for a moment, then turned her gaze toward the skyline and whispered softly.

"I don't go down there much, I can't deal with the tourists or the street vendors trying to make money off all of their lives."

Tommy nodded and ran his free hand through his hair.

"I don't have to be back at the house until later this afternoon, do you want to go down there with me? Murphy's cousin from Engine One works security down there and he'll let us in past the fence so we can get away from the tourists."

"You'd do that for me?"

Renata couldn't help but be just a small bit suspicious over how well Tommy was handling the massive amount of emotional baggage that she was carrying around. She was certain that most men would probably running fleeing and not look back.

Tommy on the other hand was surprised by his offer; he hadn't shared that knowledge even with the other guys from the house yet here he just volunteered to take a virtual stranger.

"Yes, but only if you want to go. I wouldn't force you to do anything."

Renata nodded then looked at her ring finger, which for the first time in so long was adornment less.

"Are you going to tell the other guys that I'm really not engaged?"

Tommy didn't answer for a moment, mulling over possible solutions in his mind.

"Before we knew you were the food fairy, we had thought that you wore the rock to discourage men from hitting on you and so that you could weed out the ones you didn't like. If you'd like I can just tell them that we were right, and then if you want or feel the need to tell them the rest of you story you can. How's that sound?"

Again Renata nodded.

"Thank you, for everything. Are you hungry? I could make you some breakfast."

Tommy was tempted to say yes but instead he shook his head.

"Let's go out and get something. I'll go grab my truck and meet you downstairs. How long do you need to get ready?"

Renata laughed softly and ducked out from under his arm to make her way to the corner of the studio where there was a small duffel bag lying open on the floor. Tommy watched as she freed her feet from her ballet shoes, pulled on a short black skirt and shoved her feet into a pair of comfortable looking clogs. Her ballet shoes, a bottle of water and a towel were thrown into the bag, which was then zipped up and thrown over her shoulder.

"I'm ready. Let's go."


End file.
